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Ted Danson

I was in Tesco’s the other day, in the pet food aisle to be exact, I don’t have any pets but I enjoy the smell of marrowbone, reminds me of school. So anyway, there I am, when I catch sight of someone really familiar. TED DANSON! It was fucking TED DANSON. What was he doing here? Who cares? TED DANSON!
I panicked a little, and knocked over some “2 for 1 Go-Cat” (But they put up the price anyway so it’s not even that good an offer). What was I to do? The one and only Ted Danson was in Tesco with me! I wanted an autograph with him, at least, or maybe a photo. Maybe he’d fancy a Wimpy or something. Not in a gay way, but like you know, 2 mates going for a quick Wimpy. Ted could be my best mate.
I composed myself and followed where Ted had been lurking. I turned the corner of the aisle, past the cheap stationary (£1 for a pencil sharpener, pencils, protractor, ruler, eraser and compass, hmm, not bad. I tried not to be distracted by the various bargains. I saw Ted heading back past the pet section, and aiming for the cheese. I scuttled over, nervous as hell. Ted Danson in Tesco! Oh my God!!! He was lifting some Irish Cheddar. My palms were sweaty and I was shaking a little. I approached Ted. My GOD!..
It wasn’t Ted. Didn’t even really look like him. I paid for my items and left. x

mrbenabomb is quite right, I am indeed an Asda man. If it's good enough for that snooty cow Liza Tarbuck, damnit it's good enough for me. I mean where else could I pick up a Vax bagless vacuum cleaner for £39.97?

Anyway, I am familiar with your work, but I will not go for a wimpy with you, I prefer KFC. Next Tuesday at 10:00 good for you?

p.s. I'll have a zinger tower and some popcorn fucking chicken.

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