Neg Dupree's Blog

My Hat

2008-05-16T10:13:00.000-07:00

I was making myself a cup a soup the other day, when I realized I had no cups, mugs, bowls or anything. (Never let a Greek family stay with you). The kettle was boiling, and my chicken and leek sachet was looking irresistible, plus I was absolutely starving. What could I do?

I searched the house for a vessel of some kind. The fish tank? My shoe? Hmmm. The Iron? Too awkward. The bath, naah, too impractical. Hang on! SHOWER CAP!

So I enjoyed my soup from the shower cap and found it much easier and more enjoyable, plus cheaper than using a cup. Subsequently, I’ve replaced all my crockery with caps and hats. I eat my curry out of a baseball cap; drink coffee out of a Fez, my roast dinner is served in a top hat, full English brekkie I munch from my Jewish friends’ skull cap. Of course I still eat my burgers out of my cowboy hat. TOOOOOOOOOT!

New Tenants

2008-05-12T02:59:00.000-07:00

Since the weather warmed up I’ve noticed more and more bloody insects coming into my house. It started off with a couple of spiders, woodlice, some ants and most annoyingly a fucking wasp nest in the loft! BASTARDS!

It progressively got worse until at the start of May I thought of a plan. I figured that as it cost ME money to live in my gaff why should I let those bugs have a free ride, especially as I don’t even really like ‘em?

I made myself a list of who should pay what (quite reasonable I thought) and decided to charge the little fellas rent.

Weekly accommodation charges commencing May 1^st 2008.

Spiders - £7.50 each (bit pricey but they can be quite large and I don’t like them at all, and they obviously like to actually set up camp).

Woodlice - £1.00 each (more of a road toll as they generally just pass through).

Ants - £0.10p each, or £10 for a whole nest in garden.

Flies – Congestion charge of £3.00 a month each. (They don’t earn much).

Wasps - £3.00 each for a day (danger money).

Bees – £2.00 each

Moths - £1.50 each (only come in the evenings).

Mosquitoes - £3.00 each, £10 fine if they bite me! (Don’t want their kind here).

Others – Subject to tribunal hearing. Set fee of £1.00 a day normally.

This seems to have sorted out the problems. The wasps wouldn’t pay and all buggered off (but they left loft was a right old mess I’ll tell you, fucking students). The ants have put down a very generous a deposit for a nest of their own out the back and I haven’t seen any other creepy crawlies at all! I get the occasional earwig, but they usually tidy up after themselves and we have a gentleman’s agreement of £5.00 a week for ANY earwig to have a free pass through my property. Done.

So it’s all harmonious chez Neg and I’ve made a few quid too. Not strictly sub letting either so all good, A REEEDY!

Whats in my bacon?

2008-05-09T03:51:00.000-07:00

I was cooking a bacon sandwich today in my kitchen. It’s a brand new kitchen. Got loads of nice reflective surfaces and mirrors and cool shit like that all over the place... Anyway, whilst bored waiting for the food to cook I started perusing the packaging of said meat.

Past all the usual carcinogens and shit to be expected I couldn’t believe my eyes... ‘ragus 9%’. What the hell?!! Ragu! Fucking tomato sauce in my bacon!? Now this really was weird as I always put a little bit of ketchup on my bacon sarnie. So, do I refrain from overdosing and enjoy the so called 9% Ragu (that you can’t even taste)or what? How can there be that in my bacon! Do people know this? How weird! The fact there was tomato sauce in my bacon was really freaking me out. I looked again at the bacon wrapping...6% sugar.... Fucking mirrors..

Balls of Steel off TV

2008-05-08T04:51:00.001-07:00

Balls of Steel wont be shown tonight on Channel 4. They have decided to cut short the re-run of series 2 and replace it with Gordon Ramsey.

Tomorrows episode on Channel 4 will be the last one.

You can still purchase the Balls of Steel DVD which is available on Amazon UK. There is a link on the side of this blog.

Whoop whoop!

KERRANG radio

2008-05-04T03:52:00.000-07:00

When I'm not performing Urban Sports or being followed by Bobby Davro I sometimes co-present a radio show. Toot x

How I got banned from Leicester Square

2008-05-03T05:16:00.001-07:00

Neg's own TV show

2008-05-01T06:54:00.000-07:00

For far too long now I have been denied what is rightfully mine. My own TV show. Now I am asking all my fans to sign my petition to help me achieve it.

TV companies will listen to me if I can show I have a strong enough fan base. I currently have around 2000 myspace friends and 2000 fans on Facebook. Bebo isn't doing so well. That may sound good but Button Moon has over 65,000 fans.

Sign the petition and add me on Facebook, Myspace or Bebo if you are on them.

Series 3 of Balls of Steel is now showing internationally and repeated on UK tv. Hopefully this will increase the number of fans. I had a quick look in the TV guide. Button fucking Moon is nowhere to be seen.

http://www.negdupree.com/petition - the petition for my own show

http://www.myspace.com/negdupree - official Myspace page

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Neg-Dupree/21492796384 - official facebook page

http://www.bebo.com/negd - official Bebo page

Whoop whoop!

Speed Smoking

2008-04-29T14:29:00.001-07:00

Wanker!

2008-04-27T14:01:00.000-07:00

Gary Wilmot's a wanker.... Had him round for boiled seahorses on celery (his favourite) and he's only nicked my fucking new Buckaroo set. Unbelievable. You invite someone into your home and that's the thanks you get. Cunt!
Still, he dropped his crayons when he was using the portaloo, so I snapped em all. Haha! X

Ted Danson

2008-03-21T12:21:00.000-07:00

I was in Tesco’s the other day, in the pet food aisle to be exact, I don’t have any pets but I enjoy the smell of marrowbone, reminds me of school. So anyway, there I am, when I catch sight of someone really familiar. TED DANSON! It was fucking TED DANSON. What was he doing here? Who cares? TED DANSON!
I panicked a little, and knocked over some “2 for 1 Go-Cat” (But they put up the price anyway so it’s not even that good an offer). What was I to do? The one and only Ted Danson was in Tesco with me! I wanted an autograph with him, at least, or maybe a photo. Maybe he’d fancy a Wimpy or something. Not in a gay way, but like you know, 2 mates going for a quick Wimpy. Ted could be my best mate.
I composed myself and followed where Ted had been lurking. I turned the corner of the aisle, past the cheap stationary (£1 for a pencil sharpener, pencils, protractor, ruler, eraser and compass, hmm, not bad. I tried not to be distracted by the various bargains. I saw Ted heading back past the pet section, and aiming for the cheese. I scuttled over, nervous as hell. Ted Danson in Tesco! Oh my God!!! He was lifting some Irish Cheddar. My palms were sweaty and I was shaking a little. I approached Ted. My GOD!..
It wasn’t Ted. Didn’t even really look like him. I paid for my items and left. x

New Series

2008-03-21T12:07:00.000-07:00

Check out the new series of Balls of Steel. Tonight 11.05 Channel 4!

The Boot Sale

2008-02-29T02:08:00.000-08:00

I Decided to have a boot sale last week. It’s been on my mind for a while, ever since Nanna Moon died. I searched my house from top to bottom. Emptied the shed, greenhouse, ransacked the allotments, and begged all my friends and family… Still only managed to find 3 boots! I had a pair of Doc Martens that I found in a skip, and one of my flippers. I know it’s a ‘boot’ sale but I was sure no one would mind.

Anyway. After much deliberation I thought against selling my flipper (I’d had it since I was a baby) and the Milkman wanted the Doc Martens. He owed me a favour anyway after I lent him a marrow in 2003. But he gave me a map of Persia, and a pack of Opal Fruits so I thought sod it… x

2008-02-28T06:07:00.000-08:00

Me on Youtube

Bobby Davro

2008-02-27T04:43:00.000-08:00

Bobby Davro followed me home last night. I knew it was him cos I could smell beef and eggwhite (Davro's favourite snack). This happened before but I couldn't be one hundred per cent ‘cos it’s been dark so early. Davro doesn't glow in the dark like some people (Bruce Willis, Joey Barton, Damon Hill) which would make it easier to identify who it was, obviously...

Anyway so I set a trap. I put some beef and eggwhite into an old shoe outside my shed.
Unbelievable,I Was woken up at 5.06 this morning and grabbed my glowsticks ( I can't afford a torch). I crept outside and had a look in my shoe, and yes, you got it, the beef and eggwhite was gone! Fucking you know who?! Yes, Davro! I heard some scuffling in the sugar cane behind the sheds and there was a overwhelming smell of roast beef and egg, then a clearly audible shit impression of Norman Wisdom and that old Mavis from Corrie. It was 100% Bobby fucking Davro! Well 98%. The goldfish scared him off but I'm nearly there. Running out of eggwhites... but I reckon I'll have him by June. X

A day in the life.

2008-02-26T04:09:00.000-08:00

My little cousins, Barry and Larry came over today. There is another one, Harry, but he didn’t want to come round as he knows I hate him.

They’re only young un’s, so I usually have to spend the day racking my brains trying to find something fun for us all to do. Last Xmas, when they came round, we had to call an ambulance when Harry accidentally (wink) cut his hand badly whilst doing some grouting for me.

Anyway, I decided a bit of hide and seek was probably best. Everyone likes it and it can pass hours. I’d been practicing loads. Last week it took me 3 hours to find myself and I was right there all the time, under my nose.

So, after about an hour of playing we were running out of places to hide. It was also getting dark so I, naturally, went to put the lights on. DAMN! I forgot. I had no light bulbs. I had used them the previous day, I crushed them all up and put it in the salt shaker (I had run out of salt you see, and light bulbs crushed have a similar texture and flavour). What were we gonna do?

I had a brainwave. I took the light bulb out of the (total wanker) next door neighbour’s porch. I then screwed it into the lounge light. Bingo. Barry and Larry were relieved, and we could continue our game. But hang on... how could we hide, and then be found again in the house with only one room lit.

This is the genius. Whoever’s turn it was to hide took the light bulb with them and the step-ladders. Then they could hide safely. Obviously this made the game a little easier, as basically you just looked for the room with the light on, or the ladders in, or both, and then you’d see the ‘hider’. There’s no furniture in my house, and there’s only 2 rooms as well. But it was still good fun while it lasted.
Walking from room to room, with the ladders and the light bulb, waiting to be found. Standing there, in the light....

I think Larry and Barry enjoyed themselves anyway. Think next door know I took the light bulb though. Better go hide again.... x

Facebook, Myspace & Bebo

2008-02-23T09:55:00.000-08:00

We now have official myspace facebook and Bebo pages. These can be found at:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Neg-Dupree/21492796384

http://www.myspace.com/negdupree

http://www.bebo.com/negdupree

Any suggestions are welcome.

Youtube channel

2008-02-23T09:54:00.001-08:00

I now have a youtube channel. http://www.youtube.com/users/negdupree. All my new footage and all the best footage from previous series will be available here. Next week we will have up some excusive web content.

First Post

2008-02-21T05:30:00.000-08:00

Welcome to the Official Neg Dupree Blog. Over the coming months hopefully we'll be filling this up with some great content for you. In the meantime, as we are re-developing the main website we encourage you to visit negdupree.com and offer any suggestions you can as to how we can improve the site.